The Jon has been gone for a week and you have seen the true beauty of this site. The Oz has stepped up, Newspaperman wrote some stuff and FreeSanJose made an appearance. A day late mind you, but he still showed. PoiDog on the other hand hasn’t. After reading some intelligent writing, there is always room for mindless, rah-rah banter.

But we can forgive the guy, can’t we? PoiDog has been salivating over the Iron Man movie since it was announced two years ago and has been indisposed. Sorry, all Silver Web Surfers aside, The Jon only knows of only one Ironman and he is down below.

And, uhhhh …. you have to click on the read more under the video to get to the rest of this riveting reading.

But enough of all of that Jibber Jabber. Now onto baseball, shall we?

Somewhere, Newspaperman is crying

Yovani Gallardo, he’s toast. And behind all that blubbering and snot-filled Newspaperman slobber is the sound of unreached potential. Just like Francisco Liriano and his exploding arm and the struggles that come along with it, Gallardo will now have the huge question mark coming into next season.

His No. 1 fan, Newspaperman, even dropped him outright, a sign that even the biggest skirt-wearing fan can lose faith.

The good news is Gallardo’s injury deals with an ACL and not the arm. So the whole wait two years thing is probably not in the stars.

Now Newspaperman’s problems involve the arm/wrist region to the leg region. Usually when thinking of David Wright.

Sinner.

Fernando Vina is back!

The impeccable goatee and mustard double breasted suit wearing moron has come back to ESPN to show up on Baseball Tonight to spew such insight as …

“Wow, look at that catch, that team is sure happy to have him”

“Whoo, whatta swing”

“Grunt, grunt. Me baseball. Baseball player. Ball. Hit. Me. Likey. Mitchell bad man. Make Fernando maaad. Where money?”

Hey Vlad, thanks for the hit

Vladimir Guerrero went 1 for 18 this week in The Jon’s matchup against TheOz.

But The Jon did get 10 hits or more each from Adrian Gonzalez, Ichiro Suzuki, Rafael Furcal, Placido Polanco, Chipper Jones with a combined 9 homeruns, to destroy TheOz 12-2.

Thanks fools.

Now as part of the fantasy baseball writing manual, The Jon has to say … “Don’t drop Vlad the Impler, hahaha. He is a great hitter and will wet your beds for seasons to come. Stick with him. Hannah Montana … Thank You!

And the Johnny Cueto Award goes to …

Congrats to Max Scherzer with his 4.1 innings pitched and 7.1 innings in his debut. He will now be compared to the all-time greats just as Cueto was in his first two starts. That’s great, Max can go 4.1 innings. Forgive me if The Jon is not impressed … ummm Edinson (Edison?) Volquez is better than both of them.

The fantasy baseball Britney Spears meltdown award goes to …

Justin Verlander. Is this guy even worth a start anymore? OK, so he threw a no-hitter … a season ago. Let it go.

He throws 98 mph. So what.

He doesn’t know how to pitch and has the mental makeup of … well, Newspaperman. Please Newspaperman, enlighten us on one of your heartthrobs.

Roy Halladay, you suck

C’mon Halladay, you get a win this Sunday after 7 Ks while giving up a run and only lasting 7.1 innings? Hey. Where is the complete game? You know the four that included you going into Boston and holding the Red Sox to one run?

The Jon’s man crush prevents The Jon from being unbiased when it comes to Halladay. Umm, he’s a stud. Please FreeSanJose, share some light or hate on Halladay so far this season.

The Jon thinks he wants his money back

Yeah, so The Jon has been accused by TheOz of being a Youtuber, but so what. There is an art form in planting video. Take the one above for example.

That is what Johan Santana or Volquez must say every time they take the mound …

“And just about the time you are coming out of your strikeout, hopefully the next batter is coming up to the plate. And guess what. I’ll throw another changeup again … Because I am stupid. I don’t give a eff about an giving up a hit. That’s my business. That’s what I do.”

You can have all the sliders, splitters and two-seam fastball pitchers you want. The Jon will take a good changeup pitcher every time. Changeups don’t blow out arms the way sliders do or mess up rib cages the way the splitter does. All it does is confuse the hell out of hitters.

Get a good changeup pitcher with mid-90 heat and you have a fantasy ace.

And finally …

For this part of the program, The Jon is dead. The Jon doesn’t take on his alter ego when discussing his grandfather.

Let’s just say, I had to go to Hawaii this week for an unfortunate set of circumstances, but I got to talk baseball with my grandfather.

He is 93 years old, had throat cancer take his voice away and has a hard time writing things down to communicate in the only way that is now left to him.

But we sat there. I watched him struggle to ask about my favorite baseball players, my all-time position-by-position baseball team and the Yankees.

My Grandfather is a shell of his former self. He could sweet-talk the women, have the occasional drink and wipe anyone off the dancefloor.

He was the original The Jon.

In the 45-minute conversation, he gave me a lifetime of memories.

And baseball keeps those memories alive.

Baseball allows him to be the guy in his 20s watching Joe DiMaggio.

Baseball allows him to connect with his grandson by talking of Ty Cobb and the deadball era.

How Chrsity Mathewson was the No. 1 pitcher of all time.

How Phil Rizzuto deserves to be in the Hall of Fame.

How as I probably saw my Grandfather for the last time alive, I remembered.

I remembered how I hung on every lip-read word he spoke before he lost all of his teeth.

I remembered how he used to make the motion of swinging a bat when he saw me because he couldn’t say my name.

I remembered how he moved from Puerto Rico to work in a sugar plantation to give his family a better life.

I remembered how he used to talk of Joe DiMaggio.

Most of all, I remembered him.

And still do.

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